F-’UK’-book
I’m not sure where to begin with this entry. It’s too easy to begin with innuendos, puns or a joke so instead, I’m gonna let my immature mind, and even more immature inner monologue make them up as I write…and they’ll be noted in blue.
Instead, I’m going to start this entry by saying… if you use Facebook and live (or maybe even visit the UK), you may contract syphilis. That’s right you dirty lil’ filthy-foreign-Facebookin’-fornicators, according to www.telegraph.co.uk, “Facebook has been linked to a resurgence in the sexually-transmitted disease syphilis.” Professor Peter Kelly, the director of public health in Teesside, England has said, “his staff (A-OH!) had found a link between social networking sites and the rise (A-OH!) in cases, especially among young women.
The basis of the research…figures/statistics gathered from the 3 most popular UK areas (Sunderland, Durham and Teesside) where Facebook is used “to meet multiple partners for casual sexual encounters.” *Note To Self: “Casually” go and visit Sunderland, Durham and Teesside. Additionally, the figures/statistics had shown the number of syphilis cases detected to have increased by 4 times (with more young women being affected then men). *More Important Note To Self: Bring lots of condoms.
In closing readers, here’s what you should take away when using Facebook, or whatever social network you subscribe to in the future…”Social networking sites are making it easier for people to meet up for casual sex.” Said the person using social networking sites to meet up for easier casual sex…so be careful out there!
Things Found Along The Information Super Highways
Uranium (pronounced yoo-RAY-nee-əm) is a silvery-white metallic chemical element in the actinide series of the periodic table-atomic number 92. It is assigned the chemical symbol “U” and can be yours for the low low price of $29.95 via Amazon.
That’s right shoppers, Uranium Ore in a can is currently in stock! Why spend $2,499.00 for used Uranium when you can get it for $29.95! But wait, if you order now, you might also be interested in some of other items Customers have viewed like…”Milk…a T-Rex Emblem…or an Assorted Collection of Super Bouncy Balls!”
Still not completely convinced…? Well, let’s hear what real customer’s are saying…
- “I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.”
- “Since buying this product from Amazon I am now invincible at croquet and can sing all of Andy Williams’ songs (since 1974) at the same time. What’s more, I’m able to change night into day with a small shake of my mandibles, and have just worked out how to make cheese on toast levitate. I would write more, but I’m needed in the ionosphere.”
- “Finally, someone had the gumption to package this stuff! As a busy single mom, I no longer have the time to prospect for uranium, let alone dig my own open pit mine. Also, handling that stuff makes my gums bleed and I cough up small pieces of lung. Nasty.”
- “I”ll also take a fresh whole rabbit, 4500 ladybugs and a bottle of Tuscan Whole milk.”
- My daughter was heartbroken when she ran out of the uranium ore supply that came with her Madame Curie Playschool set. These things always happen at the most inconvenient times….in this case, when she was almost half way through recreating the Theory of Radiocativity. Of course, she has done this already over 20 times (and demonstrated the difference between polonium and radium) but like most 8 year olds, if you like something, you just do it over and over again! My husband and I looked everywhere for the uranium ore refill and I don’t have to tell you how hugely popular the Madame Curie play set was over Christmas! The refill was sold out every where….even in Toys R Us and Costco. Finally, we found it on Amazon. The price is a bit high but it is certainly worth our daughter’s happiness. She’s been looking a bit pale lately (she’s always been a little anemic) and this will certainly brighten her day!
…now if I could only find a “Flux Capacitor” on Amazon for my DeLorean, I’d pretty much be set…WAIT ONE HOT STANKIN’ MINUTE!!! Oh dammit…it’s a replica! *sad face* I guess it’s a blessing in disguise considering it requires 1.21 gigawatts of electrical power to operate, and really don’t feel like getting struck by lightening again…c’est le vie~
Seriously folks…how can you NOT LOVE the World Wide Webs!!!
